We currently live in a culture that has denounced all forms of mythology. We don't believe in multiple Gods and we understand how and why the sun sets and rises. And yet, we still hold on to many other myths in our society. We still don't believe in our powers as human beings to make massive shifts in our lives in a short period of time. We are skeptical about anything that cannot be easily explained by scientific methods and we draw our conclusions based on what other people tell us.
The truth is that although we have advanced far enough to break free from religious mythology, we still have these economic and social myths that carry on. They limit us in our truest potential. We believe that if we are born middle class, we will stay middle class unless we go to Harvard or get involved in some sort of shady business. We believe that only the highest education will bring us wealth or a shift in our position in society.
We ignore the good stories and focus on the negatives. The media loves to show us just how negative life can be and they keep the more positive stories hidden from our eyes. There's no great conspiracy behind why they do this. The negative stories simply outsell the more positive ones. And because of our own egos, we love to hear and watch the wealthy falter or to hear stories that reinforce the idea that we have to become a cut throat businessman in order to achieve any kind of wealth.
Ask yourself if you would prefer to believe in these mythologies or if you would prefer to believe in something more, something worth believing in. That we can make our lives better each and every day and that there are no limitations to our capabilities if we choose to expand our visions and our skills everyday. Please, take the time now to visit my website to learn more about the life you could be living if you choose to. The choice is yours. Choose wisely.
Choose now by going to http://www.successfulfather.com and sign up for the FREE newsletter and bookmark the site. Purchase and download the e-books 7 Steps To Success or How To Use The Law of Attraction To Bring You Love And Happiness
dont forget to check out my sponsor links at the top of the page for more information
Monday, December 1, 2008
Steve Irwin's Personality and Communication Style
It was broadcast all over the world. It was said to be one of the most universally known sad events that doesn't involve an act of terrorism: Steve Irwin's death.
Otherwise known as the crocodile hunter, Steve Irwin, became the figure of reptiles and especially Australia. He wrestling vicious animals like they were harmless creatures.
Why do you think Steve had so many people who not only knew about him, but loved him?
Being Australian, I know he's done a great deal for this country. But it was his charismatic personality and communication style that made him so widely loved by many people as he draw their attention and attracted media attention.
It wasn't his job of wrestling crocs that made people like him. There are a tonne of other animal wrestlers out there that put their bodies on the line that people don't know of and even hate.
It was his personality and the way he communicated himself that made him so widely loved.
This begs me to ask you, what following do you have? Do you have people that love you because of what you do or who you are? Are they attracted to you and are proud to know you? Are they a better person because they know you?
This is what developing your communication and self is also about. You are developing the many areas within yourself for not only your own good, but for the good of others.
When you improve yourself and especially improve your communication, you begin to attract people and more favorable emotions out of people you already know. These emotions people experience go beyond feeling more attracted to you (attraction includes every person and thing that is drawn towards you), they inspire the person.
The person feels better about him/herself. They desire to follow in your foot steps and learn the skills you have learned - and this of course leads to amazing paths. These people reach new personal development ground otherwise untouchable if not for your influence.
Look at the wide outreach and influence Steve Irwin had on people. A lot of people became happier, they become less fearful of "dangerous" animals, and I'm sure quite a few tried to replicate Steve's life-filled personality.
That's what I want you to realize today. Improving yourself goes beyond the self-centered benefits communication can bring you. By effectively communicating you inspire others to grow themselves.
Thanks Steve for being such a inspiration!
dont forget to check out my sponsor links at the top of the page for more information
Sunday, November 30, 2008
What You Can Expect If You Drink For the Next, Say 5 to 15 Years
There is very little written that tells you what you can expect if you drink for the next, 5, 10, or 15 years. A few years in the life of an alcoholic.
Let's get this straight for all of you doubters out there. Alcoholics do not plan to become alcoholics. It is not something they wanted to do. Alcoholism is a disease recognized by the American Medical Association because it is chronic, and the progression of the disease is predictable.
So without preamble, here you are, addicted to alcohol. You have to have it, and you have to have it everyday. There is no question that it is the number one priority in your life, like it or not. So you drink every day as soon as your circumstances will allow it. This kind of drinking is not to achieve a warm, pleasant feeling. An alcoholic is unable to stop drinking after having the first one. So it's a guaranteed drunk.
Let's say you are in your 20's or 30's and you are drinking every day. Maybe you went to college, maybe you didn't. Either way, if you aren't there already, you are on your way to becoming unemployable.
So the days pass. Then the weeks, months, and years. And you are drinking everyday. You can't afford to care too much about what people think or about how you're spending your time. It's just too painful. So you drink and function the best way you can. You try to feel good about the things you can still do, sometimes well. But you know you are way below par. Way below what you are capable of doing. But you just can't stop drinking.
This is the part you will probably not notice. While you are spending your days drinking, everyone is getting on with their lives. They are making progress, and you don't notice - at least not for a long time. Drinking is time consuming and all encompassing. And while others in your life are making strides, you just keep falling behind. How are you going to explain that big gap in your employment record to your next employer? Can you still fulfill the job duties you used to perform before the drinking took over, or have you kind of lost those skills over time?
How are your relationships? Do you have a significant other? Chances are the answer is probably not. Not too many men and women can tolerate that kind of behavior for long. And it's hard to hide when it's close up and personal. If you were married before the drinking really started, you may still be married, the relationship on a string.
We don't realize when we are under the influence how boring we can be. That and sometimes belligerent. That doesn't make for a lot of friends, that is unless they are in the same shape you are.
So the day comes that you are really able to sober up. Those big "voids" of time ex-alcoholics talk about (that used to be consumed with drinking) shouldn't be a problem for you. You've got a lot of work to do to get back the life you left behind.
If you have a drinking problem:
Let's get this straight for all of you doubters out there. Alcoholics do not plan to become alcoholics. It is not something they wanted to do. Alcoholism is a disease recognized by the American Medical Association because it is chronic, and the progression of the disease is predictable.
So without preamble, here you are, addicted to alcohol. You have to have it, and you have to have it everyday. There is no question that it is the number one priority in your life, like it or not. So you drink every day as soon as your circumstances will allow it. This kind of drinking is not to achieve a warm, pleasant feeling. An alcoholic is unable to stop drinking after having the first one. So it's a guaranteed drunk.
Let's say you are in your 20's or 30's and you are drinking every day. Maybe you went to college, maybe you didn't. Either way, if you aren't there already, you are on your way to becoming unemployable.
So the days pass. Then the weeks, months, and years. And you are drinking everyday. You can't afford to care too much about what people think or about how you're spending your time. It's just too painful. So you drink and function the best way you can. You try to feel good about the things you can still do, sometimes well. But you know you are way below par. Way below what you are capable of doing. But you just can't stop drinking.
This is the part you will probably not notice. While you are spending your days drinking, everyone is getting on with their lives. They are making progress, and you don't notice - at least not for a long time. Drinking is time consuming and all encompassing. And while others in your life are making strides, you just keep falling behind. How are you going to explain that big gap in your employment record to your next employer? Can you still fulfill the job duties you used to perform before the drinking took over, or have you kind of lost those skills over time?
How are your relationships? Do you have a significant other? Chances are the answer is probably not. Not too many men and women can tolerate that kind of behavior for long. And it's hard to hide when it's close up and personal. If you were married before the drinking really started, you may still be married, the relationship on a string.
We don't realize when we are under the influence how boring we can be. That and sometimes belligerent. That doesn't make for a lot of friends, that is unless they are in the same shape you are.
So the day comes that you are really able to sober up. Those big "voids" of time ex-alcoholics talk about (that used to be consumed with drinking) shouldn't be a problem for you. You've got a lot of work to do to get back the life you left behind.
If you have a drinking problem:
dont forget to check out my sponsor links at the top of the page for more information
Use Your Mind to Stop Addiction Practically
It is just the strength of mind and strong will power which ultimately helps you reach the tough goals. Where there is a will, there is a way. Same is the motto that you need to follow if you wanna quit addiction. Whatever addiction. If addiction has become an integral part of your life, the more you try to quit it, the more you find yourself drawn towards it. You are trying to dismiss something with which you have been associated for so many times. Even the thought of departing from it needs a bulk of determination. All you need is a management and self-guided mind power.
Does your mind keep wondering about your earlier failed attempts? Does the thought of quitting addiction make you fragile? You may also think that you are never going to succeed in stopping. But, wait don't give up, it is the very difficulty faced by all other addicts. The mind power is at your side.
Though substance addiction is very powerful, still every year thousands of people quit their addiction fruitfully. But how are they able to do something which you always thought was unattainable? While there is no magic formula to make the process of quitting easier, there is definite thing which you can take to drive out the assurance you need to lash out this pattern. This is really practical.
The main thing is, you have to change your mind, if you want to change your life. Addiction is first of all about your psychology. You have to change your approach towards your habit to get rid of it. Until you don't begin to feel fine about quitting, you will get nowhere.
Quitting addiction requires a lot of efforts and will surely test your will power. You have to be positive and keep focused. Making yourself aware about the benefits of quitting addiction will surely help.
Negative thought about quitting addiction survive in subconscious mind. You have to work on your mental condition to make a concrete commitment toward quitting. You should make it a habit to take note of your every mind and thought, feelings and comments that you make about your addiction and addiction cessation plan.
Take note of the physical consequences like tight stomach, headache, tight chest, etc. Think about the experience because of your habit. Just think about the happiness of life that you have to stay away from due of your bad habit. Of course, there are next steps you need to realize your plan to free yourself from addiction. However, it is your mind and determination which primarily will help you lead an addict-free life. So, make your mind and build it up. You have your mind power with you.
Does your mind keep wondering about your earlier failed attempts? Does the thought of quitting addiction make you fragile? You may also think that you are never going to succeed in stopping. But, wait don't give up, it is the very difficulty faced by all other addicts. The mind power is at your side.
Though substance addiction is very powerful, still every year thousands of people quit their addiction fruitfully. But how are they able to do something which you always thought was unattainable? While there is no magic formula to make the process of quitting easier, there is definite thing which you can take to drive out the assurance you need to lash out this pattern. This is really practical.
The main thing is, you have to change your mind, if you want to change your life. Addiction is first of all about your psychology. You have to change your approach towards your habit to get rid of it. Until you don't begin to feel fine about quitting, you will get nowhere.
Quitting addiction requires a lot of efforts and will surely test your will power. You have to be positive and keep focused. Making yourself aware about the benefits of quitting addiction will surely help.
Negative thought about quitting addiction survive in subconscious mind. You have to work on your mental condition to make a concrete commitment toward quitting. You should make it a habit to take note of your every mind and thought, feelings and comments that you make about your addiction and addiction cessation plan.
Take note of the physical consequences like tight stomach, headache, tight chest, etc. Think about the experience because of your habit. Just think about the happiness of life that you have to stay away from due of your bad habit. Of course, there are next steps you need to realize your plan to free yourself from addiction. However, it is your mind and determination which primarily will help you lead an addict-free life. So, make your mind and build it up. You have your mind power with you.
dont forget to check out my sponsor links at the top of the page for more information
Thursday, November 27, 2008
"Have One Week, Will Relax" Your 7 days program to Stress management
They say there's more than one way to skin a cat. The same goes when you start tearing your hair out with all the frustration, grief, anxiety, and yes, stress. It's a state of mental conditioning that is like taking that bitter pill down your throat, causing you to lose your sense of self, and worse your sanity. Just thinking about it can drive anyone off the edge.
And they say that the proactive ones are already living off the edge.
As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels, and believe me there are many variants when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can't blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what's bugging you anyway?
There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it out of your life one of these days. So I'll try to divide it into a seven-day course for you and I promise it's not going to be too taxing on the body, as well as on the mind.
1. Acknowledge stress is goodMake stress your friend! Based on the body's natural "fight or flight" response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I've yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.
2. Avoid stress sneezersStressed people sneeze stress germs indiscriminately and before you know it, you are infected too!
Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you've got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.
3. Learn from the bestWhen people around are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced? Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.
4. Practice socially acceptable heavy breathingThis is something I've learned from a gym instructor: You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.
5. Give stressy thoughts the red lightIt is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. "If this happens, then that might happen and then we're all up the creek!" Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?
Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong - how likely is that, and what can you do to prevent it?
6. Know your trigger points and hot spotsPresentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines…. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!
Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?
Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaf?
7. Burn the candle at one endLack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it's often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don't burn the candle at both ends!
So having stress can be a total drag, but that should not hinder us to find the inner peace of mind that we have wanted for a long time. In any case, one could always go to the Bahamas and bask under the summer sun.
And they say that the proactive ones are already living off the edge.
As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels, and believe me there are many variants when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can't blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what's bugging you anyway?
There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it out of your life one of these days. So I'll try to divide it into a seven-day course for you and I promise it's not going to be too taxing on the body, as well as on the mind.
1. Acknowledge stress is goodMake stress your friend! Based on the body's natural "fight or flight" response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I've yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.
2. Avoid stress sneezersStressed people sneeze stress germs indiscriminately and before you know it, you are infected too!
Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you've got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.
3. Learn from the bestWhen people around are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced? Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.
4. Practice socially acceptable heavy breathingThis is something I've learned from a gym instructor: You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.
5. Give stressy thoughts the red lightIt is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. "If this happens, then that might happen and then we're all up the creek!" Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?
Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong - how likely is that, and what can you do to prevent it?
6. Know your trigger points and hot spotsPresentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines…. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!
Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?
Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaf?
7. Burn the candle at one endLack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it's often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don't burn the candle at both ends!
So having stress can be a total drag, but that should not hinder us to find the inner peace of mind that we have wanted for a long time. In any case, one could always go to the Bahamas and bask under the summer sun.
dont forget to check out my sponsor links at the top of the page for more information
Life Mapping: A Vision of Success
Success is more than economic gains, titles, and degrees. Planning for success is about mapping out all the aspects of your life. Similar to a map, you need to define the following details: origin, destination, vehicle, backpack, landmarks, and route.
Origin: Who you are
A map has a starting point. Your origin is who you are right now. Most people when asked to introduce themselves would say, “Hi, I’m Jean and I am a 17-year old, senior highschool student.” It does not tell you about who Jean is; it only tells you her present preoccupation. To gain insights about yourself, you need to look closely at your beliefs, values, and principles aside from your economic, professional, cultural, and civil status. Moreover, you can also reflect on your experiences to give you insights on your good and not-so-good traits, skills, knowledge, strengths, and weaknesses. Upon introspection, Jean realized that she was highly motivated, generous, service-oriented, but impatient. Her inclination was in the biological-medical field. Furthermore, she believed that life must serve a purpose, and that wars were destructive to human dignity.
Destination: A vision of who you want to be
“Who do want to be?” this is your vision. Now it is important that you know yourself so that you would have a clearer idea of who you want to be; and the things you want to change whether they are attitudes, habits, or points of view. If you hardly know yourself, then your vision and targets for the future would also be unclear. Your destination should cover all the aspects of your being: the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Continuing Jean’s story, after she defined her beliefs, values, and principles in life, she decided that she wanted to have a life dedicated in serving her fellowmen.
Vehicle: Your Mission
A vehicle is the means by which you can reach your destination. It can be analogized to your mission or vocation in life. To a great extent, your mission would depend on what you know about yourself. Bases on Jean’s self-assessment, she decided that she was suited to become a doctor, and that she wanted to become one. Her chosen vocation was a medical doctor. Describing her vision-mission fully: it was to live a life dedicated to serving her fellowmen as a doctor in conflict-areas.
Travel Bag: Your knowledge, skills, and attitude
Food, drinks, medicines, and other travelling necessities are contained in a bag. Applying this concept to your life map, you also bring with you certain knowledge, skills, and attitudes. These determine your competence and help you in attaining your vision. Given such, there is a need for you to assess what knowledge, skills, and attitudes you have at present and what you need to gain along the way. This two-fold assessment will give you insights on your landmarks or measures of success. Jean realized that she needed to gain professional knowledge and skills on medicine so that she could become a doctor. She knew that she was a bit impatient with people so she realized that this was something she wanted to change.
Landmarks and Route: S.M.A.R.T. objectives
Landmarks confirm if you are on the right track while the route determines the travel time. Thus, in planning out your life, you also need to have landmarks and a route. These landmarks are your measures of success. These measures must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time bound. Thus you cannot set two major landmarks such as earning a master’s degree and a doctorate degree within a period of three years, since the minimum number of years to complete a master’s degree is two years. Going back to Jean as an example, she identified the following landmarks in her life map: completing a bachelor’s degree in biology by the age of 21; completing medicine by the age of 27; earning her specialization in infectious diseases by the age of 30; getting deployed in local public hospitals of their town by the age of 32; and serving as doctor in war-torn areas by the age of 35.
Anticipate Turns, Detours, and Potholes
The purpose of your life map is to minimize hasty and spur-of-the-moment decisions that can make you lose your way. But oftentimes our plans are modified along the way due to some inconveniences, delays, and other situations beyond our control. Like in any path, there are turns, detours, and potholes thus; we must anticipate them and adjust accordingly.
Origin: Who you are
A map has a starting point. Your origin is who you are right now. Most people when asked to introduce themselves would say, “Hi, I’m Jean and I am a 17-year old, senior highschool student.” It does not tell you about who Jean is; it only tells you her present preoccupation. To gain insights about yourself, you need to look closely at your beliefs, values, and principles aside from your economic, professional, cultural, and civil status. Moreover, you can also reflect on your experiences to give you insights on your good and not-so-good traits, skills, knowledge, strengths, and weaknesses. Upon introspection, Jean realized that she was highly motivated, generous, service-oriented, but impatient. Her inclination was in the biological-medical field. Furthermore, she believed that life must serve a purpose, and that wars were destructive to human dignity.
Destination: A vision of who you want to be
“Who do want to be?” this is your vision. Now it is important that you know yourself so that you would have a clearer idea of who you want to be; and the things you want to change whether they are attitudes, habits, or points of view. If you hardly know yourself, then your vision and targets for the future would also be unclear. Your destination should cover all the aspects of your being: the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Continuing Jean’s story, after she defined her beliefs, values, and principles in life, she decided that she wanted to have a life dedicated in serving her fellowmen.
Vehicle: Your Mission
A vehicle is the means by which you can reach your destination. It can be analogized to your mission or vocation in life. To a great extent, your mission would depend on what you know about yourself. Bases on Jean’s self-assessment, she decided that she was suited to become a doctor, and that she wanted to become one. Her chosen vocation was a medical doctor. Describing her vision-mission fully: it was to live a life dedicated to serving her fellowmen as a doctor in conflict-areas.
Travel Bag: Your knowledge, skills, and attitude
Food, drinks, medicines, and other travelling necessities are contained in a bag. Applying this concept to your life map, you also bring with you certain knowledge, skills, and attitudes. These determine your competence and help you in attaining your vision. Given such, there is a need for you to assess what knowledge, skills, and attitudes you have at present and what you need to gain along the way. This two-fold assessment will give you insights on your landmarks or measures of success. Jean realized that she needed to gain professional knowledge and skills on medicine so that she could become a doctor. She knew that she was a bit impatient with people so she realized that this was something she wanted to change.
Landmarks and Route: S.M.A.R.T. objectives
Landmarks confirm if you are on the right track while the route determines the travel time. Thus, in planning out your life, you also need to have landmarks and a route. These landmarks are your measures of success. These measures must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time bound. Thus you cannot set two major landmarks such as earning a master’s degree and a doctorate degree within a period of three years, since the minimum number of years to complete a master’s degree is two years. Going back to Jean as an example, she identified the following landmarks in her life map: completing a bachelor’s degree in biology by the age of 21; completing medicine by the age of 27; earning her specialization in infectious diseases by the age of 30; getting deployed in local public hospitals of their town by the age of 32; and serving as doctor in war-torn areas by the age of 35.
Anticipate Turns, Detours, and Potholes
The purpose of your life map is to minimize hasty and spur-of-the-moment decisions that can make you lose your way. But oftentimes our plans are modified along the way due to some inconveniences, delays, and other situations beyond our control. Like in any path, there are turns, detours, and potholes thus; we must anticipate them and adjust accordingly.
dont forget to check out my sponsor links at the top of the page for more information
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